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10 ways of handling premature ejaculation without medications

Funmi Akingbade

Premature ejaculation is defined as rapid ejaculation that occurs following sexual stimulation and has the following key features:

    Brief time to ejaculation (often less than one minute)

    Lack of control over ejaculation

    Sexual dissatisfaction, distress and frustration of sufferer and their wives.

Premature ejaculation can be psychological and/or biological and can occur because of over-sensitive genital skin, hyperactive reflexes, extreme arousal or infrequent sexual activity. Other factors are genetics, guilt, fear, performance anxiety, inflammation and/or infection of the prostate or urethra and related to the use of alcohol or other substances.

PE can be lifelong or acquired and sometimes occurs on a situational basis. Lifelong PE is thought to have a strong biological component. Acquired PE can be biological, based on inflammation/infection of the reproductive tract or psychological, based upon a situational stressor.

PE can sometimes be related to erectile dysfunction, with the rapid ejaculation brought on by the desire to climax before losing the erection. Emphasis on ejaculation as the focal point of sexual intercourse tends to increase the performance anxiety that can initiate the problem.

Once PE has occurred and established itself, fear of and mental preoccupation with the issue can actually induce unwanted rapid ejaculation, creating a vicious cycle.

Premature ejaculation is also an ejaculation that happens too soon for a man and his partner to enjoy sex. There are two types of premature ejaculation: lifelong (or primary) and acquired (or secondary).

Lifelong PE starts early on, usually when you are a teenager experiencing first sexual contact. It is harder to treat and often has deeper psychological causes. Bad habits may also contribute (such as masturbating to ejaculate as fast as possible in order to avoid getting caught).

Acquired PE happens later in life and is usually triggered by either psychological (stress or relationship issues) or physical causes (diabetes or high blood pressure).

10 ways to delay ejaculation

There are a wide range of “home-made” remedies for premature ejaculation.

One … Have sex frequently.

Two …  Never neglect or ignore good foreplay from your wife. This should be done a couple of hours before sex and be done satisfactorily. Longer foreplay can help increase satisfaction of your wife as well as delay your ejaculation. Longer foreplay can improve your relationship by reducing dissatisfaction, frustration and performance-related anxiety. Be aware that the more pressure husbands feel during sex, the more likely they are to suffer from PE. Communication will help both the husband and the wife to overcome many issues and any discrepancy between your desires and those of your wife. The heart of the game is to focus on other sexual pleasures: this can decrease anxiety and help you gain better control over your ejaculation. During foreplay, please note that it is advisable for your wife to caress you with a dry hand, almost to the point of ejaculation and then stop. Let her do this for like up to three times and by the fourth time, you can actually ejaculate and rest a bit. And repeat this often and after many sessions of practice, you will gain some control. Then after a while, let her begin to increase the stimulation, first using lubrication and her hands, then ask your wife to increase the pressure, then try vaginal penetration. Consistent practice will lead to results.  Then avoid penetration for the first 15 minutes of lovemaking. Focus on other sexual play to take the pressure off.

Three …  Having sex with the woman on top put both the man and the woman in control of mastering the feel of rush of the sperm.

Four … If you are the couples that use condoms, please do not use thicker condoms because a thicker wall can decrease the sensitivity of the penis. Although some husbands double the condoms in order to prevent premature ejaculation [which works for some men], even with this, still make sure that the condom is very light and not thick.

Five … Have a behavioural strategic lifestyle-sex, this helps a lot. This is the act of “start-stop” and “squeeze techniques” if you adapt this with all full dedication, it often proves effective, although it may not provide a long-term solution for some men whose premature ejaculation case has gone on for long. This strategy life-style works wonder for men whose premature cases are as a result of change in lifestyle such as over indulgence in alcohol consumption, short time smoking, consumption of brewed-gaseous-soda drinks, eating too much of processed food and drinks, not having enough sleep, stress, having a known case of peptic and gastric ulcer, taking ulcer medications, too much of pain relief medications, having history of being affected with sexual transmitted diseases even though cured but mostly such sexually transmitted diseases always have side effect of premature ejaculation, having history of eating too much of oily, salty and sugary food.

If you are in this category and you religiously practise this behavioural strategic life-style-sex, it may or can take a few months for you to overcome PE and many men have to keep using them on a permanent basis.

On average, 50 to 95 per cent of men using this sexual technique manage to overcome PE eventually. There is a risk of relapse if there are significant changes in your sexual life, especially if you feel anxious. In general, the sooner in life you learn to master these techniques the better.

Six … You have to engage the pelvic floor muscle training, strengthening the pelvic floor muscle is one of the most effective ways to prevent the onset of premature ejaculation and also to manage preexisting one. The pelvic muscles, which support and help control the penis, have the ability to short circuit premature ejaculation when they are actively engaged immediately before ejaculation is allowed to occur.

For most men, these muscles are weak and get weaker with age, increasing the likelihood of premature ejaculation. A recent study found pelvic muscle exercise to be more effective than medication in treating premature ejaculation. This can also be called Kegel exercise. Kegel exercises strengthen the pubococcygeus (PC) muscle, which contracts during orgasm; a well-toned muscle means better control. (To locate the muscle: When you urinate, tense up and interrupt the flow; what you’re clenching is the PC muscle.) Do several sets of Kegels every day. This will heal all forms of erectile dysfunction of any origin; it has proven 90 per cent effective and it is highly recommended.

Seven … Down the tempo or slow down! This technique requires you to slow the pace of pelvic thrusting and varying the angle and depth of penetration before the “point of no return.” When done in conjunction with engaging your pelvic muscles, this approach becomes very effective. It cures all forms of premature ejaculation, weak ejaculation, quick ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and general male body weakness.

Eight … Pause-start method. I usually advise that this method should follow the slow down method simultaneously, because sometimes slowing the tempo may not be most effective and if slowing the tempo is not sufficient to prevent the PE, one may need to stop thrusting completely while maintaining penetration in order for the ejaculatory “urgency” to go away. Once the sensation to ejaculate subsides, pelvic thrusting may be resumed. Again, engaging the pelvic muscles once you’ve stopped thrusting helps to greatly reduce the sensation.

nine …  You don’t want to joke with the squeeze technique which was originated by Masters and Johnson, it is as simple as observing what goes on down below. Note that as imminent ejaculation approaches, the penis is withdrawn and the head of the penis is squeezed until the feeling of ejaculation passes, after which intercourse is resumed. Although effective, it however requires frequent sexual interruption, which always makes many wives angry, frustrated and uncooperative. It is also very awkward, stressful and cumbersome and demands a very cooperative attitude from the wife. But it is one of the most effective ways of totally eradicating premature ejaculation and all erectile dysfunction challenges. The “squeeze” technique works by squeezing the penis in the area between the shaft and the glans (for about 30 seconds), just before you are about to ejaculate. This stops the ejaculation, but may affect your erection, at least until you are stimulated again. You should then repeat this process 4-5 times until you decide not to delay orgasm anymore. To be effective, this method has to be used for several months and it requires great perseverance from the man and his wife. The idea behind the “squeeze” technique is that, after a while, you are able to recognise the “point of no return” and may be able to delay future ejaculations. This technique may be frustrating though as it can disrupt sexual activity. But remember this is by far the simplest technique and can be done alone or with your wife. The technique involves stimulating the penis and stopping just before you feel you are about to ejaculate. Stop the stimulation for 30-60 seconds and start again once you feel that you have regained control. Repeat this process 4-5 times, stopping and “resting” every time you feel that you are about to have an orgasm. Finally, let the ejaculation occur, so that you can identify the “point of no-return”.

Many couples complain, however, about the inconvenience of this “game” and find it frustrating. Try to incorporate it smoothly into sex and take advantage of the pauses to focus on sources of pleasure other than the penis. The rule of the game is having sex until you feel close to ejaculation. At that point, gently squeeze the end of the penis (where the “head” meets the shaft) for several seconds. Stop having sex for 30 seconds, and then start again. Repeat this pattern until you want to ejaculate.

Ten … The world has gone so advanced now that we are advised to seize the opportunity and make the best use of all available information and resources so when all is done and you think there is no improvement, kindly talk to an expert. Since premature ejaculation can have psychological origin, talking to a sexual therapist can be an excellent approach. Remember guys, there is nothing wrong with talking about our sexual health – in fact, we should do more of it! Besides when all fails, a good sex therapist advice on natural herbs still works wonders.

Questions and answers

Honestly, I envy my children’s sexual activities

My husband and I have hit middle age, and suddenly his erections seem less firm and his libido has dropped drastically. He says this is normal but sex is not just the same for me as before. This is the time I want it every now and then. Moreover, I am even ashamed to admit to myself that I am more active sexually now than ever and I sometimes even envy my children’s sex life and activities. Sometimes I secretly ask them to tell me about their sexual activities [pretending to be interested in their relationship] only to get myself aroused and masturbate afterwards. Funmi, please be honest with me, is this normal?

Mrs. Salomen Iniowo

It is very normal for you to be more active sexually now than ever because it is part of aging for women and also you are more peaceful emotionally. Even though there is no need for you to envy your children’s sex life because you can experience same. Most males after middle age experience changes in sexual function. They may not develop an erection as quickly or as often as before. Their erections may not be as firm. They may not maintain the maximal erection period. Ejaculation may not occur as quickly and there is typically less volume of semen, but still sex can still happen.

Because these changes usually develop slowly and may not always occur in the same degree. In other words, the erect penis may be larger and firmer one day, but not the next. Sometimes other factors affect a man’s system: fatigue, alcohol use, and some types of medications, dejection and anxiety, mainly “performance anxiety.” Actually, this problem of performance anxiety is a good reason for you not to express your concern about your husband’s erectile changes in derogatory terms or accusatory tones, but rather find a way around it.

If you do, it will make him have low sex-self-esteem which could make him worry more about loss of potency and make normal sexual function even more difficult. On the positive side, some couples find that the changes in a husband allow him to last longer in intercourse, which can potentially provide greater stimulation for his wife. Your husband is extremely interested in and perhaps anxious about your reactions to his problem. He’s also probably very sensitive about it. Be as reassuring as you can about your love, admiration and respect. Eliminate words that might be interpreted by him as rejection. A problem like this calls for teamwork, however, when changes in erectile ability are creating serious tension between spouses, it’s a good idea to consult a sex therapist. Recently I have in addition found out some natural researched herbs with no side effect from Seychelles that can cure and also slow down erectile dysfunction to a very large extent. For more detailed information about these herbs, please call me.

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10 ways of handling premature ejaculation without medications

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